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Starting & Momentum

What to do: Put on lace-up sneakers right after you wake up, even if you’re not leaving the house. Don’t take them off until your tasks are done.

Why it works: The brain associates being barefoot or in slippers with “relax/sleep mode.” Shoes trick it into thinking you’re “at work,” reducing the pull back to bed. (Fuller version: Shoes On, Game On.)

What to do: Work in the presence of another person who’s also working — even if they aren’t helping. Use Focusmate, a Discord server, or just FaceTime on mute.

Why it works: We mirror the energy of others. The passive social pressure of “being perceived” anchors your focus and stops you drifting off task. (More techniques: Sensory & Focus.)

What to do: Pick one “anchor point” — say, the bed. Clean that spot. If you pick up a cup that belongs in the kitchen, take it there, put it down, and immediately return to your anchor.

Why it works: Like a junebug hitting a window screen, you keep returning to the center. It prevents the “churn” where you move 100 items around the house but finish cleaning zero rooms.

What to do: Play high-tempo video game soundtracks (think Mario Kart’s “Coconut Mall”) while doing boring admin tasks.

Why it works: This music is built to keep players engaged and moving forward without distracting lyrics. It artificially induces a flow state.

What to do: Use the free AI tool Goblin.tools. Its “Magic To-Do” takes “Clean the kitchen” and breaks it into tiny, non-threatening steps (“Pick up trash,” “Put away spices,” “Wipe counter”).

Why it works: It removes the executive-function burden of planning — the part that often causes the freeze in the first place.

What to do: Dedicate one hour (or even 20 minutes) a day to the tasks you’ve been dreading — opening mail, making calls, checking your bank balance.

Why it works: It condenses the anxiety into a single block of time, giving you permission to be free of the guilt for the rest of the day.

What to do: Prop up your phone and film a time-lapse of yourself cleaning or working.

Why it works: The camera becomes an external “observer” that keeps you accountable, and watching the playback gives you a dopamine hit of accomplishment.

A note from me

I was diagnosed with ADHD five years ago. Its unmasking brought with it many life-altering manifestations, some of which were incredibly difficult to navigate.

The hardest blow was losing my lifelong passion for reading. The focus and stillness were simply gone. Wanting to better understand what was happening to me, I turned to audiobooks.

I spent many of the hours I was out on the road while out working, listening to book after book, until things slowly began to make sense.

ADHD reframed my entire past, but understanding it has allowed me to take back control of my present and future.

Somewhere in the darkest part of it — the isolation, the not-knowing — I wrote five words down for myself: love me, love my ADHD. It started as something I needed to believe. It became the reason this whole thing exists. It's why you're reading this on a site called lovemelovemyadhd.com.

If you're suffering, help is out there. I hope you find some of it here.

What this is

This guide is everything I wish someone had put in my hands on day one.

It is not the recycled advice you've heard a hundred times — just use a planner, have you tried trying harder. That advice never worked, because it was never built for a brain like ours. This is the real version: why your brain does the thing, and what to actually do about it. No willpower required. No shame attached.