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The Big Ideas to Remember

The eight ideas

Section titled “The eight ideas”

  1. Let your environment do the remembering. Your memory isn’t reliable — stop expecting it to be. Use alarms, notes, visible storage, physical setups. If you can’t see it, you’ll forget it. If it’s not scheduled, it won’t happen.

  2. Done beats perfect, every time. A half-cleaned kitchen beats a dirty one. A mediocre email sent beats a perfect one never written. Stop waiting for perfect conditions — just do it imperfectly.

  3. Work with your brain, not against it. Your brain isn’t broken; it’s different. Find systems that fit how you actually function, not how you “should” function by everyone else’s standards.

  4. Small wins create momentum. Don’t wait until you feel motivated — create motivation through tiny actions. Start with the dumbest small step. One win leads to another.

  5. You’re not lazy. Struggling with “simple” tasks isn’t a character flaw; it’s how your brain is wired. Treat yourself the way you’d treat a friend who was struggling.

  6. What works for other people might not work for you. And what works for you might look weird to everyone else. That’s fine. If it works, it works — don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your workarounds.

  7. Shame makes everything worse. Beating yourself up doesn’t make you function better — it deepens the paralysis. Self-compassion isn’t weakness; it’s a practical tool for getting unstuck.

  8. Accommodate yourself without apology. Paper plates, bins instead of folding, alarms every 30 minutes, working in coffee shops — these aren’t signs of failure. They’re adaptations that help you function. Use them proudly.

All of this works because it was figured out by people with ADHD, for people with ADHD. Take what helps, skip what doesn’t, and keep experimenting until you find your own formula.

Where to go next

Section titled “Where to go next”
Helpful resources

Online communities

  • Reddit: r/ADHD, r/adhdwomen, r/ADHD_Programmers
  • Discord: many ADHD servers for body doubling and support

YouTube

  • How to ADHD (Jessica McCabe) — research-backed and excellent
  • “Study With Me” videos for body doubling

Podcasts

  • ADHD reWired
  • Hacking Your ADHD

Books

  • How to Keep House While Drowning — KC Davis
  • Driven to Distraction — Edward Hallowell

Apps & tools

  • Focusmate, FLOWN, Flow Club — virtual body doubling
  • Tiimo — visual schedules
  • Goblin.tools — free AI that breaks tasks into tiny steps
  • Time Timer — visual countdown timers
  • A brown noise app, or YouTube

Love Me, Love My ADHD

A free, no-shame field guide — understand how your brain works, then work with it, not against it.

Free · No login · Written from lived experience

© 2026 lovemelovemyadhd.com

This site shares lived experience and practical strategies. It is not medical advice.

A note from me

I was diagnosed with ADHD five years ago. Its unmasking brought with it many life-altering manifestations, some of which were incredibly difficult to navigate.

The hardest blow was losing my lifelong passion for reading. The focus and stillness were simply gone. Wanting to better understand what was happening to me, I turned to audiobooks.

I spent many of the hours I was out on the road while out working, listening to book after book, until things slowly began to make sense.

ADHD reframed my entire past, but understanding it has allowed me to take back control of my present and future.

Somewhere in the darkest part of it — the isolation, the not-knowing — I wrote five words down for myself: love me, love my ADHD. It started as something I needed to believe. It became the reason this whole thing exists. It's why you're reading this on a site called lovemelovemyadhd.com.

If you're suffering, help is out there. I hope you find some of it here.

What this is

This guide is everything I wish someone had put in my hands on day one.

It is not the recycled advice you've heard a hundred times — just use a planner, have you tried trying harder. That advice never worked, because it was never built for a brain like ours. This is the real version: why your brain does the thing, and what to actually do about it. No willpower required. No shame attached.